Ahh... Even after complaining to my colleagues and ranting to my sister, it still fucking stresses me out every time I think about it.

Maybe it's just that time of month. But.... ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Saya marah!

Okay. Background info. Company A is the head honcho, big boss, HQ... whatever you want to call it. Company B, where I'm working at, is one of the many little subsidiaries. For Company A's big project (of which Company B also plays a major role in) they have asked us (Company B) to prepare a set of exhibition posters. Which the bosses at company B has asked me to work on.

Fine.

So today, my boss bailed out (he was at site the whole day) and sent me to show the posters to the CEO of Company A aka the big big  boss for everyone. So off I go to a meeting that has been set at 5pm. 5pm comes along and Mr CEO is not in and no one knows for sure if he'll be comeing in or not. Fine, Monday then. 5.55pm, just as I was thinking about packing up, the phone rings and it turns out that Mr CEO is back and wants to meet anyway. WTF.

So off I go. And find him in a meeting with someone else. Okay, he's a busy man... yadda yadda yadda. I get sent off to meet the GM so that he can look through the posters first. He takes a look, makes a few suggestions, then promptly gets distracted by a phone call. Awesome possum.

I sit for more than 5 minutes just waiting, and lo and  behold am summoned to see Mr CEO. By this time I'm in a bad mood already. All I can think is okay, just get his comments and then I can go home.

So then he proceeds to find fault with everything. WTF. I mean, I admit that some of his points were reasonable and were definite improvements. But some of the rest is litterally WTF. I stopped listening at this one particular slide where he said that everything on the poster should literally say Company A did this and that and everything. When in truth, Company B did all the work.

His excuse "You are our subcontractor." Err... Hello? Fine la, you want to take credit for it. I don't care because it depends on whatever agreement you have la between the 2 companies. But then wth you suruh kitorg buat your ever so glorious self-promoting poster. Gi la buat sendiri.

His analogy to me was, "Kalau ada hotel, and it serves a cake that was actually made from the small bakery shop next door, takkan la cake to nak letak nama the bakery?" I just nodded my head and what not tapi dalam hati I was thinking, " Yeah, yeah. Tapi hotel tu nak buat promotion takdela dia nak suruh pekerja kat bakery tu yang prepare the advertisement campaign kan?"

After that he went on about... bla bla bla... I dah tak dengar lagi. Then at the end he even asked, "Kenapa tak ambik notes? I've talked about a lot of things and don't want to repeat them again" with a tone like he dah penat repeating all these basic facts. Haih, like WTF. I tak kisah la you repeat these things 10,000 times to other people, this is the first time I've heard it.

Grrr...

Another thing I got pissed off at. He wants "nice" photos. How to get when all the photos are just random shots taken by random people who went to site? Nak high-quality photos, hire la photographer! Oh wait, nak hire photographer pun your project tak siap 100% pun lagi kan? And I got told off for not having a photo of something that was just installed today! Grrr...

Now I wish I could just let this all go. But I have to re-work the stupid posters. Meaning having to stare at it, revise etc.

GRRrRRRRR...

Hate this feeling

Sick enough (light-headed, blocked/runny nose, burning sensation at the back of my throat) to feel like sleeping for half the day...

BUT

not sick enough (no fever, no cought/sorethroat, no headaches) to warrant taking the day off from work.

.
.
.

I'll go to work, and the stress of work will take my mind off from the fact that I'm not feeling too good...

OR

I'll go to work, and the stress of work will make me feel worse.

.
.
.

Ohhh, my own pessimism is killing me.

:(

:(

 

Sometimes I wish I was good at swearing

As of 3pm today, my placement with Mr Sponsor is pending "definite approval from Management". My gut feeling says that the "Management" are still on their CNY holidays. It also means, that after all that waiting (and angsting), I still may not get the job in the end since I still haven't been "approved".

WTF.

Doesn't help that my bosses here keep asking me when I can "confirm" that I'll be staying with the company permanently.

WTF.

I hate this.

Still in limbo land.

I have various thoughts bouncing around in my head and since they’ve been there, unresolved, for so long it feels like a group of crazy college kids are playing bumper cars in there. Or something like that. Don’t worry, you don’t have to pretend that my metaphors make sense.

Where will I be come March?

This is my biggest issue to date. Am still waiting for news from Mr Sponsor, while the clock keeps slowly ticking by. The 6-months "grace period" for them to place me somewhere is ending soon. In 17 days. Out of that only 12 are working days. If they make an offer, then whatever the offer is, I'll be packing up and leaving my current job. If they don't? Then... what? Do I want to stay? Do I want to look for another job? I don't know.

I don't hate my current job. But I don't like either. It's just *meh*. My primary concern is that a lot of people seem to be thinking of quitting. Like A LOT. From what I gather their reasons for such is

a) The boss. They don't like one particular guy. Even the other bosses don't like him. In fact, it seems everyone doesn't like him. I personally have no problems with him, but then maybe it's just a matter of time. I don't know.

b) Job scope and workload. Really, even I feel it's crazy. We're understaffed, and everyone is more or less required to do work that's not really what they're there for. For instance, the accounts/admin department was created about the same time I joined. Before that someone else had the hounours of having double duty (ie engineer/admin) at the same time. We don't have an administrator. And since I've gotten used to having proper procedures (blame my enviro/Aussie-educated background) I find that everything is a mess.

c) Non-existent recruitment. For some reason, they can't seem to find more people. They do get a lot of resumes and from what I heard have also interviewed a fair number of people, but there still many vacant positions. Especially at a managerial level. Which brings us to the next point.

d) So-called office politics. Everything's basically handy-dandy among the junior staff. But apparently one former manager quite because office power struggles (and her box is still empty). At which one wonders what the chances of moving up in the company is like?

e) Pay. The pay is... acceptable I suppose. Basic pay isn't much. Apparently most of the money can be made if you work on site. But I guess it's still not enough if people are still thinking of quitting?

I really don't know if I should stay. If I look for a different job, it could be better or worse.

Still hoping for an offer from Mr Sponsor. It's the easy way out but I don't want to have to decide. :(

A day of chasing people

A whole lot of work for nothing much in return.

Today, I spent the day calling both the federal and state DOE, to which everyone is polite and trying to help but not really knowing who to direct me to. I've talked to at least 5 different people and bounced around from one department to another and the trail finally stopped cold at this one particular department, perhaps because everyone is on leave.

I also, sent 4 separate sales enquiry to 4 different Malaysian company. Only one company has called back but after talking for abit, said that another colleague would have to call back because of the complexities of what we're asking for.

So now, I am tired from trying to contact people and such with not much results coming in.

Plus, I've ground to a halt on my other works because I need the details which other people are working on. Which means...

I don't know what it means. Not liking my assignments at the current moment.

Thinking Thinking

Head is so jam packed with things that I feel like I need to install a navigation system to get find where a particular piece of information is stored. Okay, just need to write it out so that I can look at it properly and think straight.

1. 2 weeks ago, I had a discussion with my boss about whether I was planning to stay with Company S once my current contract is up. Yes, I said. So we agreed to extend my contract till the end of February, to cover for the period that I'm bonded to the other company, Mr Sponsor. And starting March, I'll get a brand spanking new contract that would give me a proper job title and higher pay (hooray!)

2. A few days ago, the nice HR lady from Mr Sponsor suddenly contacted me. The gist of it was that if I were to be working for Mr Sponsor it'd be in a job scope that I did not fancy (because it is such a snoozefest). But after deliberating about it over the weekend, I figured that I'd rather be snoozing than working my ass of paying back my debt to Mr Sponsor. So, come Monday, I said yes.

3. So now the nice HR lady (who is based in the parent company) has gone off to do HR things with (presumably) the HR from the subsidiary company and doing all the HR-ey things like issuing an offer letter. Well, at least I hope so. Because the last thing I heard was that my CV has been sent off to wherever/whomever is in charge. Which means, technically nobody has actually said, Let's hire her, yet. So in the absence of a formal offer, I decided to hold off imforming bosses at Company S about me possibly having to jump ship.

4. Which would have worked out fine, except that the bosses have decided that I've been having too much of an easy job so far, and have given me responsibilities that my head can't really comprehend. I  mean, no reallly, I'm scared. But enough on that.

5. So now, I feel like I should at least warn my bosses that I might be having to leave. Because their plan is obviously long-term and I jsut don't want to cause problems somewhere down the road. The thing is, I don't know when, where or even IF I will be leaving. So now, should I

A) Keep quiet and wait for an offer letter. All the while, getting involved in a big project which I might have to leave halfway through which might cause a lot of confusion having to transfer responsibilities onto a poor unsuspecting soul.

B) Tell and let bosses decide whether to keep me on the project, and clear everything else on my plate while waiting for that offer letter.

C) Tell and pretend that the offer has been confirmed, resign when my origianl contract ends and hang out at home. (Sorry, could not resist considering this option).

Maybe I'm just scared of all these responsibilities and wanting to find an excuse to run away.... Hmmm... But no time for self-contemplation. Work is a-calling!